The AFTERLIFE EPITAPH – Jan. 26th, 2009 – #11, Vol 1.

Many thanks to those who are avid readers of The EPITAPH. The number of hits has more than doubled in the last month! We are pleased to bring you items gleaned from the living and hope it sparks creative though for your business and personal lives.


Quotes from the deceased

“Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”

~ Dorothy Parker


Eulogy to The AFTERLIFE

“Another good one! You always dig up the best stuff!” – Matthew Hawkins,


Monster Zero attacks Japan!

What starts in Japan is not far from our own markets. Well, a trip to a Japanese supermarket or convenience store these days reveals a prominence of items displaying the numeral “0” on their packaging. They are calling shoppers’ attention to the fact that the products are sugar-, calorie-, or fat-free – and sometimes all three. These “zero-type” foods and drinks, as they have been dubbed, have struck a chord among a rapidly expanding legion of health-conscious consumers, from middle-aged men who want to trim inches from their waistlines to young women who wish to stay slim. Developing foods that satisfy both taste buds and the desire to cut calories is not easy, but beverage and food makers are now marketing an array of new products to meet the burgeoning demand.



Huge New Market
In an effort to clamp down on metabolic syndrome, which increases the likelihood of cardiovascular and other lifestyle-related diseases, medical checkups since April 2008 have routinely included measurements of the waistline, in addition to such traditional items as cholesterol and fat content, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels. This has had the effect of making people more conscious about their weight and helped to ignite a boom in “zero” foods and drinks.

The “zero” products are particularly appealing to those who do not want to give up drinking alcohol or soft drinks but, at the same time, want to hold down their caloric intake. Canned happoshu (a beer-like, low-malt beverage)chuhai (sparkling beverages with a shochu, or distilled liquor, base), and coffee free of sweeteners were launched one after another and rang up unexpectedly strong sales, creating a massive new market for these zero-type drinks.


And delicious Swedish Meatballs!

Ikea has always led the pack with brilliant, innovative ideas and advertising (and good food in their stores!). Here’s the latest…


Blinded by the light

As you know, we like to spotlight really fun ideas that are incredibly stupid…and this is no exception!

A fun multi-colored computer keyboard that changes colors with each keystroke, like a retro disco floor. This rainbow keyboard comes with the option of staying in its preset hue, or changing with each keystroke. Luxeed’s USB keyboards are available in a white backlit version (KRW 118,800 / $127 USD) 
and a sleek black back lit version (KRW 125,600 / $134 USD), where the keys stay black and only the letters change colors.

I would imagine you would have about ten minutes of typing before you were struck by a splitting headache or convulsions. There’s a reason disco is dead.


Less of a mind-burner, for the Scrabbleoids out there is the Scrabble Tile keyboard, made from real tiles!



LEGO my…

This gigantic Lego bricks is actually a hard drive designed by the world-famous designer Ora-Ïto. It works with the standard USB2.0 interface and come in different colors and capacities, a white 160GB model, a red 250GB, the blue color 300GB, and lastly another red model that can hold 500GB of data.


This playful 10,000 Year Desktop Calendar features three blocks (yellow, red, white) that you can assemble and rearrange as you desire. Giving your numerous fun possibilities to spice up your desk. Each brick measures 80mm cube.

The Lego Brick Inspired 10,000 Year Desktop Calendar sells for $27


La Cambre Architecture (founded in 1927) is the most famous architecture school in Belgium. The school wanted new business cards that reflect their focus on “creation” and “practice”, so they commissioned the Leo Burnett, Belgium ad agency which came up with these creative business cards.

Creative director Jean-Paul Lefebvre and art director Marie-laure Cliquennois created the card design in the shape of a Lego brick with the contact information printed on the sides of the brick.

It is a fun card that reflects the “imagination” and “construction” nature of the school.


Although they are unofficial imitations, these “lego” block MP3 players look like an over sized version of the real thing. The manufacturer creatively used the bumps (isn’t there an actual name for those, by the way?) as control knobs, and they come in a range of classic LEGO colors: red, blue, green, yellow, and white. The included Li-ion battery can be fully charged in six hours via a USB cable connected to your computer while you manage your files.


Here’s a first: a LEGO-inspired sofa that features interlocking, rubber pieces that allow you to easily change its configuration. One potential negative, it’s priced at $466.


Class up your LEGO ring with a little Bling.  The Forever Young Ring No.1 adds a shiney stone to an already cute design.


LEGO is selling a new ice tray that pops little LEGO brick of ice.  This means you can build your own LEGO ice sculpture.  The $10 LEGO ice cube tray is made out of silicone, dishwasher safe and capable of making up to 10 ice bricks.


Sometimes, you just have to say “fork it!” Available through, the Lego utensils build a balanced diet.



Oh, Baby!

Outtakes from the etrade baby commercials to air on Super Bowl Sunday…


Nearer my drink to thee

I guess enough time has passed to make fun of the worst maritime disaster in the history of shipping, so why not enjoy a cold drink, cooled by the ill-fated Titanic?!




Is it any wonder people will jump on the Obama bandwagon? “Orange you glad for change” Cola by the Jones Soda Company is the latest example of poor taste (although I’m sure it tastes delicious) from corporate America. At least we never saw 9-11 7-Up!



Deadly honest!

Black Death Vodka may not have steered people away from alcohol


and while Death brand cigarettes were embraced by smokers as the “hippest” packaging for cancer sticks,


perhaps the I (heart) Cancer portable ashtray may give smokers second thoughts. Nah! It’s just too cool.




Just your type!

Having done my share of pop-up cards for Hallmark, this book uses the technology extremely well.


“Butter” packaging ideas

I am a huge fan of spray butter. It’s a great invention and by using it, I believe I have shaved off enough minutes per application to add several years of leisure time to my life. Well, the next generation of butter application not only saves time, it can also be a delicious alternative to Chapstick!



Can’t stand your iPhone?

If you own and iPhone, you know the problem. If you don’t own an iPhone, skip to the next story. Well, now that those miserable idiots who are  far beneath us are reading the next story, we all know the problem with trying to spend quality time watching things on our iPhones. There’s a DYI solution…


If a bunch of number 2 pencils is not number 1 with you, then try this little gizmo…


The iFlyz holder is a must have for the iPhone. Hey! Let’s have one more laugh at the expense of those non-iPhone owners now reading the next story. Ha-ha!


Got you covered!

Uh-oh! I told the non-iPhone owners to skip to the next story and it’s about the new Go-go iPhone cover. The cover allows the Apple symbol to show through for a hilarious effect…if you own an iPhone. Yeah. This is embarrassing.



Happy meal…drink…whatever!

A cool design of cup and saucer just makes you so happy, you will forget you don’t own an iPhone!




When the automobile was first introduced and gained popularity, manufacturers of horse-drawn accessories refused to look to the future and went out of business. There was an employee who worked for a manufacturer of saddles and buggy whips who suggested the company retool to manufacture leather automobile seats. He was immediately fired and probably starved to death. Executives at that firm then followed his advice and the rest is history.

In these uncertain times, it pays to look to the future. iPhone applications and accessories are just one huge market. At The AFTERLIFE, we pride ourselves in the concepting and design of products, packaging, ads and other initiatives for success. Why not contact us to see what we can do for your buggy whips?!

Just go to the SEANCE page to contact us or just CLICK HERE!

Jonathan Schneider – Archangel of Creativity










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