Coke Pushes Pay-for-Performance Model

 

CHICAGO (AdAge.com) — Coca-Cola Co. is trying to start an industrywide movement toward a “value-based” compensation model like one it’s adopted that promises agencies nothing more than recouped costs if they don’t perform — but profit margins as high as 30% if their work hits top targets.

Usually tight-lipped Coke disclosed its plans at the Association of National Advertisers Financial Management Conference in Phoenix on April 20, saying it wanted to nudge the industry into adopting value-based models as a standard practice. If it succeeds, agencies accustomed to being able to book profits long before they deliver work won’t have that sort of certainty anymore.

“We want our agencies to earn their profitability, but it’s not guaranteed,” said Sarah Armstrong, Coke’s director of worldwide media and communication operations, the driver behind the move for Coke, which spends some $3 billion a year on global advertising. “We need them to be profitable and healthy, but they have to earn it through performance.”

Coke’s shift from paying a flat fee based on hours worked began in five markets last year. The model is rolling out in at least 35 more this year and will encompass all of the company’s ad- and media-agency relationships by 2011. The concept of value-based models has been a hot topic in the industry for at least a decade, but few marketers have attempted to apply it. (Procter & Gamble is perhaps the furthest along but uses it on only 12 of its brands.)

Ms. Armstrong took pains to note that the process involved considerable give and take with agencies that were briefed on Coke’s plans and were given opportunities to voice concerns. “There were some pointed questions,” she said. “But our agencies read the trades, and they know what P&G did. They knew at some point someone would take this path; they just didn’t know it would be us.”

Put into action
Coke’s agencies include some of the most creative in the media and agency worlds, including Wieden & Kennedy, Crispin Porter & Bogusky, Starcom MediaVest Group and Mother, among dozens of others. Some agency executives, speaking privately, said they couldn’t argue with the theory behind the shift, but had concerns about how it might work in practice.

“Look, if you’re talking about getting paid more because you’re adding value to a project, I think that’s terrific,” said a senior executive at one Coke agency that has yet to switch to the new model. “The tricky part is how you define value.”

Traditionally, defining the value of an assignment has been the job of the agency, which tells its client how many people and how much time it’ll need to accomplish a given project. Under its new model, Coke will determine the value of assignments based on a range of factors including the work’s strategic importance, the talent involved and whether other agencies could duplicate the work — if they could, it’s worth less.

After those factors are used to set the value of a project, the agency’s performance and the business results that follow determine what, if anything, the agency deserves to be paid beyond its upfront costs (which, in practice, are sometimes inflated). If all targets are hit, the agency could make as much as 30% on a project; if all targets are missed, the agency won’t make any profit at all.

Supporters of the approach acknowledge that it’s not a perfect approach to measure the value agencies add, but they call it a massive improvement over a status quo that equates hours spent with value delivered. “I’d rather be approximately right than precisely wrong,” said Tim Williams, founder of the agency-compensation consultancy Ignition.

Effort vs. value
Other major marketers present perked up at Ms. Armstrong’s presentation. “It got my juices flowing,” said Keith Levy, VP-marketing at Anheuser-Busch, which slashed agency fees earlier this year. “We agree with Coke that [agency] effort doesn’t necessarily equal value … but it also shows you how much time and effort it takes to get there.”

Though the shift comes amid a brutal economic downturn that has prompted many marketers to slash agency fees to save money, Ms. Armstrong said cost savings had little to do with Coke’s move to a new compensation model. It’s “ironic,” she said, but the shift began in 2006. She declined to comment on whether Coke saw any savings in the five test markets — Australia, China, Germany, the U.K. and the Philippines — in which it deployed the new model last year.

However, cost reductions have been a priority at the company of late. Last summer, CEO Muhtar Kent said Coke would look to save between $400 million and $500 million a year by the end of 2011. Marketing was said to be a primary focus. The company also has been looking to optimize its use of agencies, slashing its global roster by more than half in the past 18 months. Despite that, Coke spent $3 billion on advertising globally last year, a $200 million increase from the previous year.

The new model, in theory, ought to better align the quality of Coke’s advertising with the size of its budget, but the approach is not without its risks. Will Coke’s agencies be willing to take the same creative risks if striking out means they’ll see no profit for their trouble? “That has not been a concern,” Ms. Armstrong said. “I have a fundamental belief that our agencies are competitive enough that they are going to bring their A-games no matter what.”

How Coke’s new compensation system works

BEFORE: Agencies and Coke negotiate in advance how much profit the former will see on a given project.

AFTER: Agency is guaranteed only recouped costs, with any profit coming only if certain targets are met.

BEFORE: Agency decides what Coke should pay for a project based on the time it expects to expend on it.

AFTER: Coke tells agencies how valuable a project is based on strategic importance, whether other agencies could deliver the same outcome, and other factors.

Change at Procter & Gamble

Slowly but surely, Procter & Gamble Co. is moving more brands toward a model that makes a single agency lead contractor over the rest of a brand’s far-flung marketing-services roster, which includes maintaining control over hiring, budgets and payments for other agencies. The system is having a growing impact on what people close to P&G estimate as $900 million to $1 billion in agency fees annually.

So far, it’s only been applied to about a dozen brands in so-called pilots, but that’s up from five a year ago. The new agency deal now covers brands accounting for about 26% of P&G’s $3.1 billion in U.S. measured media spending, as counted by TNS Media Intelligence, including eight of P&G’s 21 billion-dollar brands. “I wouldn’t be surprised if more brands adopt this,” said P&G spokeswoman Martha Depenbrock. It’s not a corporate mandate, she said, but it appears to be working well.

The system fosters better collaboration and holistic-marketing plans, she said, and it’s more cost-effective for P&G and agencies. The “brand agency leader,” or “BAL” model in P&G-acronym parlance, replaces one still used by most P&G brands in which creative agencies are compensated as a percentage of brand sales and other shops mainly get paid fees.

That model saw P&G through some of its highest-growth years earlier in the decade. But its drawbacks include numerous and complex transactions.

People close to the company say the old system penalizes brands that move from plans heavy with TV and print, because creative agencies get paid the same even when digital and other specialty shops get paid more.

Sales-based compensation remains in the BAL model, but it’s a much smaller factor. The BAL gets “value-based” compensation, or fees based on negotiated value of the work to the brand rather than hours worked. That fee increases or decreases based on brand sales and market share and agency evaluations, Ms. Depenbrock said.

Some packaging innovations from Coke:

2005 KISS Gene Simmons, France, Wrapped Coke Bottle!

2005 – Only released in Germany, Spain, Brazil, Mexico, and Italy. The bottles are printed with irredescent inks, so they react to blacklights for an added cool factor. The bottles are also half-filled, so they can be mixed with alcohol, making the product “100% nightclub-certified cool.”

Two nurses from Mercy Walworth Medical Center in Lake Geneva were fired after allegedly posting pictures of a patient’s x-ray on Facebook.  The man had presented himself to the ER with a “sex toy” lodged in his rectum and apparently the nurses found it so amusing that they chose to take pictures using their phones and load them onto their facebook profiles. Not exactly a six-pack Coke was known for!

Coke adds life!

This enormous Coke bottle used to house a Coca-Cola museum where you could sample dozens of different Coke products from around the world. It’s now a wedding chapel.

Aluminum Coke bottle cans.

2008 Holiday packaging.

The original patent for the Coke bottle. Simple, elegant and functional. Not much has changed in 94 years!

Coke adds life and The AFTERLIFE adds…life to all your graphic design thirsts. Pick up a bottle, today!

The Earth is just our TYPE of place!

This Google Maps typography project is from Australian designer Rhett Dashwood. He compiled the alphabet using aerial shots from actual places found in Victoria, Australia on Google Maps.

I have to wonder if the Plains of Nazca were early attempts at the same thing!?

It’s easier to just e-mail The AFTERLIFE!

“Spoil” those office food thefts!

Like many in offices that share one refrigerator, I have eagerly awaited lunch time so I could enjoy the sandwich I brought. Oh, I made great sandwiches and coworkers would marvel at them. In fact, they admired them so much that they started disappearing from the refrigerator. The feeling of anticipation followed by the shock and realization that your lunch is gone is akin to hearing the news of  the attack on Pearl Harbor or stepping on a Viet Cong booby trap of sharpened, poison pungee sticks (they were really good sandwiches!).

After several thefts, I thought I had the solution by announcing that I had poisoned my sandwich and the thief would be dead in half an hour. Unfortunately, even threatening to have poisoned your own sandwich to catch a thief is frowned upon by the HR department, moreso than stealing someone else’s lunch.

Well, lesson learned, but prevention is better than revenge, so here’s a product that deters lunch-felons before their hideous, thieving, yellow teeth have sunken into your 12-grain bread. The Anti-theft Lunch Bags (not a great name, but it works) is now available to those plagued by people who won’t respect the sanctity of your lunch, the group refrigerator honor pact and are probably only still employed due to the Peter Principle.

The bags are printed to look as if the contents have an unidentified mold. The perfect camouflage, if you know what sits in office refrigerators.

For real fun, try sending this off to school with the kids and hear afterschool tales of their little friends vomiting at the lunch table as junior takes a big bite of mold. Thousands of uses!

 

If that doesn’t work and just looking at the bag, even though you know it’s fake, sickens you, try the Atomic Waste Bowl. Glows strong bones 12 ways!

 

Contact The AFTERLIFE

Why research is so important!

Listen to the theme music. It’s an age-old racist theme. We won’t even post the words people used to sing to this tune. When will advertisers learn to research what they use to sell their product?

 

The DOs and DON’Ts of Parenting

I guess I worked for MAD Magazine too long because, at first, I couldn’t really decide if these were a spoof (because, let’s face it, some parents should have been sterilized at birth). I’m still guessing it’s a spoof (?) but in any case, the illustrations and concepting is top notch!

More Dos and Don’ts

 

Tell ’em you got it in The AFTERLIFE!

Apple pulls ‘Baby Shaker’ iPhone app after child welfare groups protest

There are thousands of iPhone apps. There are farting noises, fishing games, endurance tests and even apps that keep track of things and help organize your life (how boring!) but Apple, Inc yanked from its online store today the latest app, a disturbing application called “Baby Shaker” –  which allowed users to silence a screaming infant by shaking their phone.

The 99 cent application, created by a company called Sikalosoft, went on sale in the App Store Monday and  quickly outraged child welfare groups.

“Baby Shaker” features a sketch of a cute baby that quickly dissolves into tears and cries on the iPhone screen. Users then violently shake their phone until the child stops crying –  and red X’s morbidly appear over the baby’s eyes. A description of the application does end with the words “never, never shake a baby.”

But it also sinisterly challenges users to “See how long you can endure his or her adorable cries before you just have to find a way to quiet the baby down!”

The question along with why anyone would make such a heinous app, is which moron approved it for the Apple store? Firings will no doubt follow.

Want to contact The AFTERLIFE? Just go to the SEANCE page with the link on the sidebar. The AFTERLIFE, designs to die for, is just a click away!

 

4/24/2009 – Apple Apologizes for “Baby Shaker” app.

Facebook Relationship Etiquette

Brilliant script and art direction! Three thumbs up!

 

The AFTERLIFE Epitaph – April 20th, 2009 #22, Vol. 1

“Being good is not enough when you dream of being great.”

~ Anonymous

A WHOPPER of bad taste?

Using humor in ads is a delicate balance. Where does one draw the line? Fast food giant Burger King apologized Tuesday for an advertisement featuring a squat Mexican draped in his country’s flag next to a tall American cowboy and said it would change the campaign.

Mexico’s ambassador to Spain said posters released in Europe for Burger King’s new Tex-Mex style “Texican whopper,” a cheeseburger with chile and spicy mayonnaise, inappropriately displayed the Mexican flag, whose image is protected under national law.

The ambassador wrote a letter complaining to Burger King and requested the ad campaign be discontinued.

Burger King said the ads were meant to show a mixture of influences from the southwestern United States and Mexico, not to poke fun at Mexican culture, but said it would replace them “as soon as commercially possible.”

“Burger King Corporation has made the decision to revise the Texican Whopper advertising creative out of respect for the Mexican culture and its people,” it said in a statement.

“The existing campaign falls fully within the legal parameters of the United Kingdom and Spain where the commercials are being aired and were not intended to offend anyone,” the company added.

A TV version of the ad shows the strapping cowboy and the pint-sized Mexican wrestler — nicknamed “Just a Little Bit” — living together as roommates. At one point, the American lifts up the Mexican to help him put a trophy on a high shelf.

Mexico was involved in another controversial ad campaign last year when Absolut vodka posted billboard ads in Mexico with an early 19th century map showing chunks of the United States as part of Mexico.

The campaign angered many U.S. citizens and was later dropped.

 

Also in the news is the Burger King ad for the Spongebob Squarepants toys. Aimed at and airing only at night on adult shows, the re-mix of Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back,” the ad is creative and tastefully done (considering the original song). But, as usually happens, parents who allow their children to watch adult programming are complaining about the ad. Who’s crossing the line?

At least people are talking about it and the toys are flying off the counters!

Domino’s Employees Incite YouTube Brand Scandal – never order a pizza with “the works!”

(Editors note – This was not as viral when it was tagged for this issue. I’m sure by now everyone has seen it. I chose to keep it in for the story as it shows how two moronic employees can cast a business so much. Not only the business, but if the firm suffers and business drops, employees get laid off. A business butterfly effect! As of 4/16/09, there is apparently a felony warrant out for their arrests).

Two Domino’s employees have released a series of YouTube videos in which they playfully molest food products before allegedly passing them on to customers.

In the most recent video posted on YouTube, “Michael” — one member of the duo — inserts cheese into his nose and waves salami over his backside before placing both ingredients on a pair of sandwiches.

“He just put a booger on those sandwiches!” quips “Kristy,” the other employee. “Remember the time when you sneezed?”

Between the time of yesterday’s Advertising Age report and now, views have leapt from 20,000 to 728,816. Comments from YouTube users have ranged from “I eat that crap?” to “pizza hut have done the same thing as well….” — suggesting brand damage may touch industry rivals as well.

The video is just one among a handful that Kristy and Michael have released about their kitchen shenanigans at the pizza chain. The rest have been curated by As Good As You, a blog that covered the incident.

According to spokesman Tim McIntyre of Domino’s, the employees were identified and promptly terminated. (Indeed, the YouTube video that stirred the tempest has been updated with hovering text that reads, “They have been fired.”) The franchise at which they worked has also filed a criminal complaint; Domino’s itself is contemplating civil action for brand defamation.

“Any idiot with a webcam and an internet connection can attempt to undo all that’s right about the brand,” McIntyre snarled.

“In the course of one three-minute video, two idiots can attempt to unravel all of that.” Domino’s currently boasts 125,000 employees worldwide.

The chain is stepping carefully over figurative eggshells to mitigate the damage. McIntyre also shared a letter in which Kristy apologizes for her actions and Michael’s:

“It was all a prank and me nor Michael expected to have this much attention from the videos that were uploaded!” she wrote. “No food was ever sent out to any customer. We would never put something like that on you tube if it were real!! It was fake and I wish that everyone knew that!!!!”

In contemplating the YouTube fiasco, McIntyre observed, “You can be the safest driver, you know […] But there’s going to be that Friday night someone’s drunk and comes from out of nowhere. You can do the best you can, but there’s going to be the equivalent of that drunk driver that hits the innocent victim.”

In the meantime, Domino’s has opted neither to issue a press release nor post any statements online. The chain is reportedly concerned that a “strong response” will only raise awareness for the videos that did the damage.

A number of armchair speculators have suggested that Domino’s respond in video form — a tactic employed by Southwest Airlines when, last year, two young girls publicly claimed to have been kicked off a flight for being “too pretty.”

Meanwhile, a representative from digital agency Woods Witty Dealy called the situation “a major shot over the bow of any brand. It’s amateur corporate espionage and it is deadly.”

“How do you defend yourself against a mindless anarchist that does’t seem to care what they destroy, including themselves?”

But at least one pixel pundit made a diplomatic concession in the direction of the two terminated employees. “[The videos give] a realistic view on some of the things that happen when people get bored in a repetitive job,” stated UK-based SEO contractor David Harland via Twitter — implying that, in an age where it’s easy to record and broadcast day-to-day banalities, similar damage control scenarios are just over the horizon.

Me like english good!

Winston cigarettes used to advertise “Winston taste good like a cigarette should.”

Being brought under scrutiny by American english teachers, they quickly jumped on a campaign of “…AS a cigarette should.” Certainly you see it every day in signs, ads, and even, gasp, news articles. Dangling participles, sentences ended with a preposition and other horrid stabs at our mother tongue. People complain that those under the age of 30 are unable to spell due to texting lenguage and judging by the résumés we receive, it’s very true.

So, we were delighted to see a blog that is dedicated to the lost art of the written word. Njoy!

http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/

The answer lies not in the stars but in Uranus

This Danish toilet paper dispenser is beyond wrong. Even with my love for foreign advertising ideas, I would never think of this in a million, billion, bamillion years! Trying (very hard) to get across the message that the paper is recycled…well, I just can’t disgust, er discuss this any further.

If one picture is worth a thousand words, then let this out-word count any dictionary.

Scam ads

This ad, showing a Jesus-figure snapping a picture of a bunch of nuns with the Samsung SL310W camera, was published in Lebanese newspaper Al Mostakbal last week.

The ad has been called “an attack against Christian symbols” but here’s the kicker — the ad agency FP7 who created it, doesn’t have the Samsung account.
Sunny Hwang, the president of Samsung Electronics Levant, said to Brandrepublic “at no time was Samsung Electronics aware of these advertisements and the company has not approved or commissioned FP7 to create any advertising campaigns.”

At the recent Dubai Lynx Awards, FP7 picked up a gold, a few silvers and even the ad agency of the year award but after this little mishap, the agency (and their work) is being investigated by the award organisers and they might get stripped of all their honors.

Now that it has become almost standard practice for companies to demand spec work from ad agencies, can they truly own the finished ad? I guess you get what you pay for — and don’t get what you don’t pay for!

Da Bomb!

Taiwanese design duo Owen and Cloud designed this piece as a statement against war, and the result is a one of a kind, striking piece.

Part of the proceeds from sales of A Peaceful Bomb are donated to “Act Now to Stop War & End Racism” (A.N.S.W.E.R.). ($49)

 

Live in a pop-up book!

These folding interiors are extremely convenient for those of you who live in cramped living spaces. Not only are these pieces sleek and practical, but they also remind me of a surprise bag or a giant pop-up book. From offices to kitchens, John Lewis and Atelier OPA have created unique pieces of foldable interiors for a more expedient lifestyle.

Where’s the CEO job?

“Life’s too short for the wrong job,” Isn’t that so true? That’s the tag line for these motivational career ads by German job search site, Jobsintown.de.

The visuals for the guerrilla ads are even more clever than the text! They campaign features a series of machines that perform automated services, each with a decal on them making it appear as if there were someone inside performing the coordinating task. For example, a man inside a coffee vending machine appears to brewing coffee inside the machine.

Other machines include an ATM, a vending machine, a photobooth and a coin-operated washing machine.

 

LEGO of life

These suicide scenarios recreated in Lego are really wrong, on every level. However, I have to admire their creativity, although I have no idea where this concept came from.

The attention to detail includes whimsical touches of pools of blood where appropriate, such as in the “wrist slashing” picture.

Bread Art Project

Where else can you make a lot of dough for loafing?

http://www.breadartproject.com/?utm_campaign=breadartproject&utm_source=adnetwork1&utm_medium=paid-media-OLA

There are times, as with the Domino’s story (and that singing Scottish lady), where the viral nature of the item is about 12 hours. Weekly publication just doesn’t meet the deadlines to bring you topical stories.

In the past, as with the Marley & Me spoiler, we have made special posts. From this point on, we will no longer stick to a weekly schedule. As it hits us, we will hit you. So check back as often as you wish and see what we’ve found. We guarantee it’ll be the same innovative items, only we won’t sweat getting the kids to bed, doing three loads of wash, doing dishes and making endless peanut butter sandwiches for school lunches AND putting the weekly issue to “bed.”

Jonathan Schneider – Archangel of Creativity
The AFTERLIFE 

Go to the SEANCE page to contact us

The AFTERLIFE Epitaph – April 13th, 2009 #21, Vol. 1

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

~T.S. Eliot

BumpTop 1.0 – 3D Desktop Zen and beta videos

Mixed reviews for this new app. Certainly a great idea for really messing up your desktop!

Twitter with everything

Kraft is launching a flatbread version of their best-selling DiGiorno pizza brand using the usual television and print outlets. In order to utilize the ever-increasing power of social media, however, they will also be delivering free pizza to tweetups.

PR agency Weber Shandwick has been hired to help reach influential tweeters who are willing to host tweetups prearranged on Twitter. Chicago, New York and Los Angeles are the cities currently being targeted for this promotion. The only thing missing is the Coca-Cola!

“We’ve always been out there with a lot of different media touch points, with a combination of online and offline,” said Tom Moe, director-marketing for Kraft’s DiGiorno brand. “We’re always looking for the newest and most relevant places to be in both areas.”

 

Flickr Credit Card Campaigns

As far as credit card interactive campaigns go, the Visa Go website is a pretty solid one. The website’s main page echoes the campaign’s central verb in typography entirely composed of interactive user-submitted Flickr photos.

There are more social networking goodies to be found on the Visa Go website. According to a Visa press release, rich media banner advertisements will show video of Visa users doing things in Buenos Aires, New York and Ho Chi Minh City.

Naturally, Visa has tied in some cross-promotion to its millions of merchants. Both a Google Maps plugin and user-submitted geotagged Flickr photos will yield personalized recommendations on nearby merchants, experiences and activities directly from the Visa Go website.

 

Hang on!

The ultimate in morbid neckwear, the Hanging Tie is ideal for employees on the edge who just can’t verbalize their cry for help.

What a great way to let your boss know how you really feel about your job.

It’s probably not a wise gift choice for Wall Street workers in the current gloomy economic climate, though.

A quirky piece of apparel for a CSI, perhaps?

 

Festive Sushi Ornaments

It sounds fishy but I’ve seen some odd decorations in my day (working for Hallmark, makers of Keepsake Ornaments, I’ve seen everything from Star Trek ornaments to I Love Lucy ornaments). So why not get raw with the holiday tree?

Certainly, if you are driven to have sushi ornaments, you are probably a prime candidate for a sushi wedding cake.

And start everything with a sushi engagement ring.

Make sure you’re clean and sushi smelling with sushi soap…

In your sushi shower…

Give the bridesmaids sushi hats…

and when it’s all over, rest your weary head on a sushi pillow!

Trust me, there are more sushi products but this is starting to give me a “haddock!”

A DYNAMITE idea!

These fire-starter sticks aren’t explosive, but they do a great job of starting a blaze…and get plenty of attention on the hearth. The replica crate is made of finger-jointed cedar for years of use…it’s a fun reminder of a time when you could buy a box of dynamite at your local general store. 

Holds 20 sticks of paraffin and sawdust fire starters, which burn for about 30 minutes each. Just break off a piece to light even stubborn wood. Great for camping, too! (Just bring extra underwear for those who don’t know what these really are).

Holy Grail!

“He who drinks from the Grail shall be granted eternal paperclips!” Well, not really, but if you’re in search of the Holy Grail… look no further! You can own this polyresin miniature of the coveted artifact as seen in the movie, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The paperclip magnet measures 4-inches tall and 2 1/2-inches in diameter. Although a gulp from this cup won’t bring you eternal life, this is a perfect way to keep tabs on your paperclips or push pins. Buy this and the other Indiana Jones desk accessories to organize your desk in true Indy style!

If it’s good enough for the Ten Commandments, it’s good enough for your business cards! This remarkable replica of the Ark is a must-have for every Indy memorabilia collector. It’s your chance to possess your very own miniaturized Ark of the Covenant… that doubles as a card holder! The unique collectible is finely detailed, from the golden eagles and feathers down the etchings on the Ark. 

You don’t need to brave the Peruvian jungles and the temple’s deadly traps to stare into the idol’s eyes! Modeled after the idol in Raiders of the Lost Ark and representing the Chachapoyan goddess of fertility, this miniature, gold-toned statue will hold your pens and pencils while attracting the attention of anyone who passes by. Bottomless pit and poison dart shooting indians sold separately.

If only!

The answer to all the evil born unto the world…latex condoms (Grey Worldwide, Dusseldorf). A rather strong argument but I still get the shivers thinking about it!

Who was that masked man?

In large population centers in Asia, face masks are not only everyday accessories, they are big business. While many movies and books see the future as a utopian society, Blade Runner and Soylent Green are most probably true visions of the far flung future (2015!).

It’s not so much the need for face masks as the packaging that catches the eye. Can Sponge Bob packaging be far behind? Who lives in a toxic area under the sea…

Beers to innovation!

First there was light beer, then fruit infused beer, then Zima…well, that didn’t do so well, but now there’s a new entry into the green tea market — Chicago-based Ineeka Inc. has outdone the competition by producing the first certified organic green tea beer named Himalayan Green Tea Bier. Brewed with certified organic hops, barley, green tea, and ginger, this bubbly beverage is sure to have an impact on today’s all-natural food movement.

Now let’s see who has the guts to order one in their local tavern.

Whether it’s alcohol, raw fish, packaging or stopping the conception of despotic maniacs, The AFTERLIFE offers design and branding that will make you toast your siccess!

CLICK HERE FOR SUCCESS!

Jonathan Schneider – Archangel of Creativity
The AFTERLIFE 

The AFTERLIFE Epitaph – April 6th, 2009 #20, Vol. 1

If the amount of spam we delete from our inbox is any indicator of success, then we rule the internet!

It’s amazing the different kinds of spam we receive. Usually it’s just straight pleas for financial services, cheap Vi@gra or Russian brides (BTW – everyone at The AFTERLIFE is getting married next month) but our favorites are the spam that starts by telling us how great our site is and THEN swinging into the sales pitch.

Why do I bring this up? Because we also specialize in web content writing as well as headlines, catch phrases, ad copy and essays of all types. 

Give me the “write stuff!”

Quotes from the deceased

“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”

~ Albert Einstein

(After my stop at the “Trinity” site in New Mexico where the first atomic bomb was tested, I stood at ground zero and I got some great T-shirts for my kids, I thought I owed this issue a quote from Dr. Einstein and thanks for all the radiation!)

Eulogy to The AFTERLIFE

This week, we would like to give a eulogy to a friend who wrote glowing things about The EPITAPH and made some great suggestions for optimization of this blog. Kevin Skinner is an old cohort from Hallmark Cards and currently a web guru in Detroit (I forget the name of his place — I’m sure I’ll figure it out by the time I’ve posted this draft?). Kevin is certainly within the top three design  and concept geniuses I know and I am excited about making some improvements.

Unfortunately, that also means more spam. Damn you Skinner!

Success is in the “bag!”

“Classic Star Wars sleeping bag simulates the warmth of a Tauntaun carcass.” Hmmm, some boast! Didn’t Han Solo exclaim, “and I thought they smelled bad on the outside?”

Despite that, our hats are off to the guts (sorry!) it took to push through this product. You have to love the happy face on the Tauntaun and the bowels lining. Absolute sick genius!

Built-in embroidered Tauntaun head pillow
Glowing Lightsaber zipper pull
Great for playing pretend “Save Luke from the Wampa” games
Teach your children about the best Star Wars movie ever
Fully Licensed Lucasfilm™ Collectable
Fits children (and small adults)
100% Polyester construction, Machine washable
Exterior Dimensions – 32″ x 60″

(There is a rumor that these were only April Fools joke done by the folks at ThinkGeek.com. Too bad — what a GREAT idea!)

Real, but not as cool as the Tauntaun bag!

According to Icelandic ancient myths, seals are believed to be condemned humans. Designer Prjónsdóttir Vik explains this mythical story on his site to describe the focus of one of his latest products, the Sealpelt.

The Sealpelt is made of 100% Icelandic wool, comes in nine colors. The guts to use one is not included.

 

There’s nobody gnome

It’s not that it’s the idea of recycling metal or my innate hatred of lawn flamingos and gnomes, but I love this product! Comes in several different mischievous models.

The Gnome-Be-Gone’s aren’t just interested in getting rid of gnomes in your garden. They’ll also weed out any flamingos that won’t go-go.

Includes 2 Gnome-Be-Gones and 1 resin pink flamingo.

Handmade using recycled components by uber artist Fred Conlon. Fred’s amazingly fun, funky, and always very unique art, has appeared in art galleries, festivals and shows across the country.

Measures approximately 24″ long x 16″ wide. Metal will acquire a rust patina finish with outdoor use.

(Available from our friends at perpetual kid.com)

Somethin’ for everyone!

“Labs With Abs” is a picture book with drawings depicting Labrador Retriever dogs in some really steamy scenarios. Artist Andrew Jeffrey Wright sketches these beefy canine studs in stereotypically sexy scenes. 

The moral of this item — anything for dog breeds will be snapped up by fanatic owners!

Gettin Dong’s attention!

“Dong (clap-clap). Dong (clap-clap)! – (Grandpa tries to wake up Long Duck Dong) Sixteen Candles.

In order to get around the ban of direct-to-consumer advertising of prescription drugs on TV in Korea, Pfizer came up with these interactive ads to promote Viagra pills.

The ads come in the shape of a promotional hand fan with an image of an old or fat man without a penis. In order to use the fan, you have to put your finger in the hole, which gets the message across and ads play value.

Brilliant!

The campaign was created by Cheil Worldwide, Seoul, Korea.

 

Tilt-Shift!

Watch for that buzz word. Tilt-shift (which we showed you a month or so ago) is getting a lot of attention these days. Here’s a simple video outlining the process.

Now, when someone suggests it at a brainstorm, you’ll have the knowledge to understand why it’s a really stupid idea — or not!

Check out a really good tilt-shift video!

iFight!

It’s hard to fight the popularity of the iPhone. Sprint’s  Samsung Instinct just fell too far behind. This new model looks good, but can it iSucceed?

This Samsung Clover is an eco-friendly cell phone design made of recycled materials. Its PLCD back changes colors as the battery level fades, turning from opaque to clear. And LCD and electronic sensor add-ons help you further manage your energy consumption.

Blown my mind!

Blown Fabric” by Nendo will be shown at La Triennale di Milano for the Tokyo Fiber ‘09 Senseware exhibition at the end of this month. The fabric was created to demonstrate the new possibilities of materials using Japanese synthetics.

“Smash” is a long fiber non-woven polyester that can be formed much like glass-blowing. Because it is plastic, however, lamps and lighting solutions made from it are lighter and shatterproof, with a beautiful soft glow when light passes through.

HOT ad!

It’s always a delicate balance using this type of humor but when it’s pulled off right, how can you not appreciate it!?

Graham Lee & David Crichton, Toronto, Canada

Falling like Domino’s

Clever viral-marketing hoax or simple accident? On March 30,Domino’s stores got hit for over 11,000 pies as part of a free medium-pie promotion that didn’t even exist. Or so they thought. Turns out in December, Crispin Porter + Bogusky devised an online promotion using the password “bailout.” It never got the green light from corporate, but no one went back and disabled the code, says Domino’s rep Tim McIntyre. Three months later, he says, a consumer, tinkering with Domino’s online ordering, “randomly” typed in the word and triggered the free coupon. That happened late this past Monday night.

By the time store owners opened Tuesday, their computers were “dinging” with orders. More than half of the 5,000 U.S. stores had at least one redemption. Based on the volume of orders at two particular stores, the company thinks the whole thing started at a college near either Cincinnati or Salt Lake City. Soon, value blogs picked it up, the run on free pizzas spread. The company, which is reimbursing franchisees for the cost of food, disabled the promotion at 11:30 a.m. on March 31, the day before April Fool’s Day. “That was just a quirk of timing. This isn’t a hoax, scam or hacker. It’s an honest-to-goodness mistake,” insists McIntyre. But he admits it’s “reinforced to us the power of viral marketing and the power of the word ‘free’ with ‘pizza.’ ” And in these grim times, it proved cathartic for consumers: “When word got around and people found out that it was a mistaken free promotion, they liked it even more,” he says. “People liked it because they felt, ‘We just stuck it to the man.’ “

The AFTERLIFE wants to hear from you! Must we do shameless paragraphs of self-promotion? At least send us a note and let us know you’re reading The EPITAPH.

Jonathan Schneider – Archangel of Creativity
The AFTERLIFE

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